How To Host Like You're The Most
Calling in the hosting experts, Wonder Valley's Al and Jay Carroll to figure out how to have people over without tripping all over yourself or having a panic attack. And! Even enjoying yourself, too.
Summer is a lot of things, but as an adult, I’ve come to recognize it as the season of Hosting. In fact, a friend’s mother apparently says summer is for “sheets and Shaws.” I once considered myself a pretty good host, but recently, I think I’ve gotten a little creaky. (A problem of overhosting? Underhosting? Ugh, hosting!)
As luck would have it, I happen to know two phenomenal hosts—my pals Al and Jay Carroll of olive oil (and other delights) company Wonder Valley. Paid subscribers probably remember seeing their pizza oven, which was featured in the June print edition. I was recently Chez Al & Jay for a fairly large party that had multiple moments, setups, and locations in and around their Bailey Island, Maine home, all of which they moved through gracefully and, at least from the outside, also appeared to be having fun, not weathering an hours long, low key panic attack.
I asked the two to share some of their hosting tips because, phew, I sure could use it. Here it is below—followed by a BIBS (Bailey Island Beach Shack) playlist by Jay for our paid subs.
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1. Release the expectation of perfection. Everyone can feel the stress radiate off their host. Roll with the curveballs and blunders.
2. Generally, people want to participate and be of help. Actually ask people to bring things and lean into their strengths. Like I’m not an amazing baker, but my friend Marjory is, so I’ll ask her to bring dessert. Or, our friend Sarah is knowledgeable about shellfish, so I’ll ask her to bring the scallops and tools to open them. I found that everyone likes to contribute to the beauty and bounty of the evening.
3. Our favorite meals when hosting gets everyone involved. Making homemade tortillas for tacos, prepping a big paella, shucking oysters, making pizza, making home made pasta. It’s memory making with the meal.
4. Having a pre-batched cocktail on ice makes things run smoothly for your hosting duties (and feels extremely chic and adult). We love a 50/50 martini, which is a less boozy version of a classic: half parts gin and the best dry vermouth you can get. Put it in a bottle or shaker or even mason jar nestled into ice and have some lemon peels and olives ready for a pour-yourself set up.
5. Strike a balance between high and low. For us, this looks like caviar and ruffles or champagne and cheap beer.
6. It’s more fun cooking outside: grilling, wood burning ovens, cooking over a beach fire, a yakitori grill.
7. Get moving. Take a walk after cocktails and before dinner, take a boat ride, go for a swim before dessert.
8. If someone offers to hold a baby or do the dishes, say yes!
9. Wonder Valley Olive Oil makes a very functional centerpiece in the mix with flowers (and repurpose the bottles as candlestick holders when they are empty).
10. Consider all senses with the set up. Dial in the lighting, think about the scent with incense, candles or flowers, have fun with the table set up and textures like the linens and if sitting outside some pillows or throw blankets.
11. And perhaps most importantly music! Have some playlists ready. Maybe have a musician friend sing for their supper. We’ve even surprised our guests with a mid-dinner mariachi.
Ed.’s note: Couldn’t have asked for a better transition—thanks Al! Without further ado…